Self Care for the Mom that Thinks She Doesn’t Need It

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I am the literal worst at self care.  I have gone a week without a shower because “I couldn’t find the time.”  I am so bad at asking for help. Even worse, I am so bad at recognizing my own needs to even ask others for their help.  But I am working on taking better care of myself, and, Mama, you need to take care of yourself too.

How many times are we burning the wick at both ends? Giving all that we can on little sleep to all of the people that we can. This is exasperated for me by the fact that I’m an enneagram 2 (if you haven’t heard of the enneagram check out this podcast that introduced me to it- I’m obsessed). Being a 2 means that I’m a nurturer by nature. I tend to put others needs above my own, and I feel needy or selfish when I ask for something that benefits me. 

This isn’t an inherently bad thing, but lately it has been catching up with me. As a stay at home mom to two littles under the age of three, I feel like I always have to be on. I need to kiss the owies, make the mac and cheese, and be present at all times. Or so I feel. What often gets neglected is my care for myself.  Last week, we were quarantined in the house for the full week due to a weird virus, and I’m learning that not being able to leave the house sets off some triggers for me. My mental health took a nice little dive on, ironically, World Mental Health Day. 

Luckily, I’m starting to understand the things I need to do to reset myself, to reinvest in myself, and to pull myself back together.  My dips in mental health aren’t too bad. But I do need to watch myself and make sure I don’t allow myself to get to an unhealthy place. Mama, you need to watch yourself too. This list is for the mamas like me, the ones who forget that you need to take time for self care too.  If for no other reason than it will help you be more present for your children (for those of you who need an external reason like me 😉 ). 

Self Care for the Mama Who Thinks She Doesn't Need It

1) Take a Shower

Like I said, I’ve been known to put off showers for faaaaar too long because who has time for that?  I have time for that. I just don’t allow my time to be used for that. It’s funny because so often I dread taking the time to take a shower, to have that time to myself, and then once I’m in, I don’t want to get out. Sometimes, all it takes to reset is to get right back to the basics. 

Take a shower. Shave your legs. Put on some nice lotion. Brush your teeth. Put on some real clothes.  It’s crazy how taking just that little amount of time to do something so basic, can allow you a whole new outlook on the other side.  And when I say take a shower, I mean a shower alone- not one with your kiddos right outside the door! Figure out what needs to happen for this to happen and do it (at least once a week 😉 ).

2) Do something that’s fun for you

One of the funniest questions I think gets posed to mothers is “what are your hobbies?” I’m a mom, I don’t have time for hobbies!  Like I said, I barely have time to shower! But, I do think it’s so important for us to have something that we do for ourselves, something that makes us feel like the full grown human that we are.  Whether that’s reading, sewing, running, or whatever else floats your boat, find that thing that makes you smile for yourself again. Something that you look forward to picking up again.

Personally, I’ve been getting into reading again, and it’s been such a good form of self care for myself.  Not only have I been able to escape my daily life by diving into good books, I’ve also been able to work my brain a little bit. I have things to talk about with real live humans! This blog has been a really good hobby for me as well- something creative that I’m doing for myself. Maybe you can’t devote time to a hobby every day, but maybe you can once or twice a week.  By starting small, you can find that thing that brings you life and fills your spirit up so that you can go out and be present for others again.

3) Get some quiet time

As a mom, I get it, finding quiet time in your day is easier said than done! What is quiet, even!? I’ve discovered that I desperately need to have at least a small pocket of quiet time everyday for my own sanity. I try to structure my kiddo’s naps and bedtimes in a way that I can ensure that. When kiddo sleep gets out of whack, I tend to get a little freaked out and worry about when my next moment of quiet will come. Maybe this is a Holly thing or an introvert thing, but I don’t think it is completely.  

We all need a little time to sit with just ourselves and allow the quiet to sweep over. For me that often looks like getting my prayer time in during the (hopefully) overlapping nap times for my kids. For you, it might be waking up earlier than the kids to meditate or it might be sitting in a room with noise canceling headphones on for five minutes while your kiddos play by themselves in a safe space. I’m finding that no matter what it is, I need to use this time to unplug from everything around me and just be (no cell phone allowed).  If you’re like me and need this time desperately, talk to the people in your life and figure out a way to get it. 

4) Get out of the house alone

This is another one that is easier said than done for a lot of moms. As I’ve gotten further into my staying at home journey, I’ve found that finding times that I can get out of the house alone is another thing that I need to incorporate into my self care routine in order to be a better mom.  By taking time by myself away from my kiddos, I’m able to come back to them and appreciate them more. I’ve been trying to get a couple hours each weekend, and it has truly been lifegiving.

If you’re having a hard time getting out of the house by yourself right now, start thinking of strategies that will help you get there.  Actually take up that friend who says she’ll watch your children. Ask your husband to take the kids for the afternoon on the weekend. See what family could help you get that time out.  Or even hire a babysitter for a couple hours. People will help you out- you just need to ask. And once you do get out of the house- do something that fills you up (not just errands!) My first couple outings by myself were simply going to a coffee shop and coloring in an adult coloring book for an hour. It doesn’t have to be anything crazy, just do something for you.

5) Talk to someone who cares about you

Find your tribe of people that you can turn to to help build you up.  Whether it’s your husband, your mom, or your best friend, find time to chat with them. And when you do, be honest when they ask how you are. They know that you love your children more than anything in the world. They also know that they love you and want the best for you, outside of being a mom. Let them push you into doing something for yourself when they see you wavering. 

If you feel like you don’t have someone to talk to, reach out. Find a good mom’s group, either in person or on the internet. Message someone that you used to be really close to- see what they’re up to, be vulnerable with them if it seems right. Reach out to me- my inbox is always ready for you (I am a 2 after all!) In today’s time of isolation, reach out and find those people who will listen to you and who will push you to be the best version of yourself, which includes taking the time for your own self care.

Self Care for the Mama Who Thinks She Doesn't Need It

Your needs are important, Mama.  You can’t pour from an empty glass, so find what fills your glass and do more of that.  Give yourself grace to have bad days, but don’t let yourself dwell in them. Find your strategies to pull yourself back up and allow others around you to help you. Allow yourself to be nurtured and cared for. If not for you, for the benefit of those around you.  Know that I’m speaking to myself too, and I’m on this journey with you. With that being said, I’d love to hear your basic self care tips- let me know what yours are by dropping a comment below or chatting with me on Instagram or Facebook! I can’t wait to have you as part of my tribe <3

Read More: 7 Easy Ways to Start Being a More Present Mom

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Embrace the Fall When It Still Feels like Summer

Embrace the Fall When It Still Feels like Summer
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This post contains Amazon Affiliate Links. As an Amazon Associate, Simply Mama Bird receives a small commission from qualifying purchases. Thank You!

I am having a big case of Fall FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) this year.  As a girl born and raised in Wisconsin, being in Florida during the fall is just awful.  I want the brisk days, leggings and sweaters, and the changing of the leaves. This is our second fall in Florida, and I don’t remember my longing for all things autumn being this bad last year.  That could definitely be because I was mega pregnant and then had a newborn mid October, though. This year, I am feeling it full force, so I am figuring out how to embrace fall when it still feels like summer.

I don’t know what it is about seasons that people just really flock to.  I think as humans, we like the chance to shake things up, to reorganize our lives, to start things over, and fall provides just that.  It has really been getting a cult following lately- maybe it was this way before too, but as I’ve become an adult it seems like people don’t just love fall- they LOVE it.  They like the leggings and scarves, the pumpkin spice everything, all of the fall activities, and, of course, the plethora of Instagram picture opportunities. I also think part of the reason people love fall is that it satisfies all of our senses- there are so many things to see, touch, taste, smell, and hear. 

Plus, it’s the beginning of the holiday season and so many different family traditions. I’m starting to realize I’m a tad nostalgic and love tradition.  I want to get our pumpkins, put up our decorations, and bake all of the things just like I did as a child. And I’m excited to do these things with my children.  Luckily, even amidst these 80 degree days, I’m able to embrace the fall when it still feels like summer.  It just takes being a little more intentional than walking outside our front door.  Here are some of the ideas and activities we’re looking forward to this year!

Embrace the Fall When It Still Feels like Summer

Decorating for Fall When It Feels like Summer

I’ve been slacking hardcore on decorations this year.  I think I just skipped the month of September between our hurricane scare and then a stomach bug hitting our children. We have very minimal fall decorations up (and I just put them up this past Friday!). Part of that is probably because we don’t have many fall decorations stocked up to begin with.  We’re trying to be intentional about the pieces we bring into our home and not just putting up junk. Plus, we need to have decorations that we’re either okay with the kids destroying or that they can’t destroy. Between these two qualifications, we have very little in way of fall decorations (or really decorations at all #toddlerlife).  

Being in Florida, where the leaves outside are still as green as the summer, we need to put up something as a visible reminder that the time of year is changing. I love these window clings as they make me feel like maybe the leaves outside are different colors- it’s all about self deception 😉 .  We also have a couple of little fall signs hanging around the house, and we’ll get some pumpkins/gourds later this month to use as decorations.  Whatever we can do to bring a little fall spirit to our household helps!

Fall Crafts & Activities for the Kids

I’m not usually a crafty mom, but there is something about this fall that is getting me inspired.  My toddler, Nora, is just getting to the age where we can do some more crafty things. The other day, we went on a “scavenger hunt” around our apartment complex.  While we don’t have leaves of many different colors, there were some dead leaves on the ground that I could pretend were fall leaves. We also picked up some flowers, sticks, rocks, and grasses on our adventure.  The next day, Nora and I made a little collage with all of our findings. It actually turned out pretty cool- and then after keeping it around for a couple days, we returned the items back to the outdoors (the best kind of project!). 

We also tried doing some pumpkin paper plate crafts the other day.  It was pretty simple- just some paper plates and some paint and I left her to it.  We had a pretty pink and blue “pumpkin” at the end- I’m all about that toddler creativity haha! We’ll probably do a couple more as I get ambitious throughout the next couple weeks 😉 . The nice thing about these kind of crafts is that they can double for decorations- and it’s okay if they get destroyed! 

Eat All of the Fall Foods

Fall has sooooo many good foods and flavors associated with it! Between pumpkins, apples, squash, zucchinis, and sweet potatoes, I don’t know where you can go wrong.  My husband is a fuddy dud and doesn’t like pumpkin (who doesn’t like pumpkin!?), so I’m having to make pumpkin sweets just for myself and the kids.  I guess I shouldn’t complain, though, more for me!  I asked my friend for her pumpkin cookie recipe she made all the time in college and they hit the spot. Plus, pumpkin is technically healthy, right?

We’ve also been eating our fair share of apples since they’ve come into season.  I’m hoping to find some good zucchinis and other fall squashes to make some good ole fall recipes in the next months. There really is something special about making foods to fit the seasons. I tend to feel with my stomach and love others by baking and cooking- especially sweets- so this time of year just calls to me. Send me your favorite fall recipes- sweets or meals. I’m just starting to figure out what my go-to’s are going to be as my kiddos grow. What we’ve made so far has definitely helped bring the fall into our household.

Embrace the Fall when It Still Feels Like Summer

Seek Out Fall Events- Even when it still feels like summer!

I Googled where to get pumpkins the other day, and I was astounded by all of the options that we have- places I didn’t even know existed!  A lot of the churches down here will have a hosted “pumpkin patch” and there are a couple different farmers markets we might look into to hit up for our fall harvest foods.  We’re not lacking for children’s fall activities either.  Especially as Halloween approaches, there are an abundance of children’s fall festivals and trick or treat opportunities throughout the city.

If you’re looking for fall activities in your area, do a quick Google search of your area.  I’ve actually had even better luck looking through Facebook- searching for fall activities in your area could present multiple different options for your family to enjoy! One we’re looking forward to trying out in our area is actually right down the street from us- a place that has a little petting farm, pumpkin patch, and other activities for kiddos. There are so many fun things to get out and do in our communities during this time of year- even if we’re still wearing our shorts and sandals! 

Bring on the Fall Smells

I am not a fragrance person usually- my husband is the candle lover in our family.  But man, I have been loving our apple candle the last few days! It’s been creating a cozy atmosphere in our house. I’m thinking we might need to stock up on some fall smelling candles this year (and then maybe some winter ones- I’ll keep you posted!).  I know there are some people who will make something called stovetop potpourri where they have a boiling pot with different fall smelling foods like apples and spices or whatnot- what a fun idea! (Though maybe that’d heat up our house more than we want?)

Whether it’s a candle, stovetop potpourri, essential oils, or just a fall air freshener, adding a little bit of fall fragrance to the air helps create a new atmosphere.  I think there truly is something about fall appealing to all of our senses, especially smell.  There’s a distinct smell to fall up north that can’t quite be captured in a candle. Even so, it doesn’t hurt to add a little something into the air to remind us of the fall season even when it still feels like summer.

Embrace the Fall When It Still Feels Like Summer

Get that Fall Reading On

If you’re a follower of the blog, you know we love our books around here. When I was looking for our long lost fall decorations earlier this week, I found our stash of fall children’s books too! I had forgotten we had so many- I had found a smaller stash a month or so ago and thought that’s all we had. I don’t know who was more excited- Nora or me! It’s been fun reading these books that have been put away for awhile, and Charlie is getting into them too. A few of our favorites from our stack are shown below- My one year old is a BIG fan of the Don’t Push the Button books, and my toddler is all about the Where’s Boo series of board books (there’s Christmas and Valentine’s Day too!)

This year has forced us to embrace the fall when it still feels like summer.  And I’m kind of glad it has.  We’re learning which traditions are important to us and which activities we want to be a part of our family culture.  We’ve had to be intentional about bringing the fall spirit into our home. And there have been benefits to it still being warm- we don’t have to bundle up the kids on our way out of the house to our different activities for one!  While we look forward to spending next fall actually experiencing fall (we hope!), this year has showed us how to embrace the fall when it still feels like summer.

What fall activities do you enjoy doing with your family? Whether you’re actually experiencing the fall season change or simply embracing the fall when it still feels like summer like us, I’d love to hear what’s on your fall bucket list this year! Let me know by commenting below or chatting with us on Facebook or Instagram.  I’m looking forward to hearing what your family loves 🙂

 

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Motherhood Will Make Me a Saint

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Brick House in the City posted a story on their social media accounts last week that rocked me. It told of how a young St. Therese would call out “Mama!” as she went down each step and would wait for her mother’s reply before going down another step. Each step she would call out, and each step her mother would call tenderly, “Yes, my child.” And so it went as she went down the stairs.

Shoot, guys, I would’ve lost it! Can you imagine the patience it would take to call out “Yes, my child” on Every. Single. Step.  I get so upset when Nora won’t go up a full set of stairs without any recognition. We’re going through a phase where she wants to be carried everywhere- especially up the stairs. So this particular story called directly to my heart. I try to convince my sweet toddler to come up the steps by herself with patience, kindness, and most of the time, I just carry her if she’s really insisting.  But, other times, I yell, or leave her crying because I have to set down the million other things I am carrying up the stairs (including her actually can’t go up the stairs by himself little brother).  In these moments, I know that God is doing His sanctifying work in me.

What Would St. Zelie Do?

I wonder if St. Zelie had this internal struggle with little Therese.  She knew it was best to be patient and encourage her little girl, but maybe sometimes she just wanted to yell “Therese, come on! Just come down the stairs already!” But her response with patience and love is probably part of the reason St. Zelie came to be recognized as a saint- she had the patience of a saint, as they say.  There are other stories of how little St. Therese tested her mother’s patience. I wonder if, really, having her little girl being as testing as she was led St. Zelie to her sanctity. If by offering up her tendencies to impatience or anger, she was able to grow closer to God.   I would bet you that her journey in motherhood made her a saint.

I want to be a saint like St. Zelie too. While this sounds a little high and mighty, a saint is really just someone who has gone to heaven, someone who is fully in the presence of God. We have “canonized” saints in the Catholic church- these are people who have obviously followed God in their time alive and then have had two miracles proven in their name (plus a bunch of other logistical steps). We have a lot of them- a lot of men and women, like St. Zelie, to look to as an example of what it means to follow Jesus.  But, there are (I hope!) so many more saints than the ones that we have canonized, and I hope to be a part of this community someday.  

Motherhood will Make Me a Saint

Motherhood Will Make Me A Saint

I think motherhood is proving to be my quickest path to get there. The day in and day out of toddler tantrums, dirty diapers, and night wakings are doing their work in me. (And we’re not even to the teenage years yet!)  I believe God is using these little moments with my kiddos to draw me closer to Him, though I don’t always see it that way. It’s in the moments we see the face of Jesus in our children that we are being sanctified.

“He will answer them, ‘Amen, I say to you, what you did not do for one of these least ones, you did not do for me'” Matthew 25:45

I fail at this often.  I don’t always (or ever!) respond with the sweet patience that St. Zelie responded with to her little Therese.  Instead, I get frustrated and yell. I complain to my husband. I stop being present with my kiddos. I don’t treat every little toddler or baby suffering as an act for God. Every little task of motherhood seems so menial and not worth it, everything is always undone.

But, sometimes, I do respond with patience. I give that extra hug and snuggle instead of yelling.  I swallow my complaints and smile through it.  Sometimes, I work a little harder to be more present. Sometimes I remember to “offer it up,” to see Jesus in the face of my children. I embrace the “littleness” of motherhood as my journey to heaven.

And in these moments, I feel God smiling, saying “I see you. You’re doing a great job. Keep it up!” You see, God doesn’t need us to be perfect.  He simply wants us to be love to those around us- especially to those little beings that he’s entrusted us with. He wants us to try our best every day. Even more importantly, He wants us to call on Him in prayer when we’re not doing so hot. 

Prayer in Motherhood

It’s ironic because I am both drawn away from prayer and to prayer as a mother.  I often feel like I don’t have any pockets of time in my day to give to God. Or I don’t have a moment of silence in my day. I feel like I can’t do more than five minutes, so why even start? Or, like a couple days ago, I close my eyes to pray and immediately fall asleep. 

But at the same time, Jesus is calling to my heart. He asks me to spend that time- as little or “unproductive” as it may be. He calms my heart and shows me the next steps. Even in those days where all I get out are a morning offering– He blesses my day. He gives me the patience that I need. And even better, when I’m not the mom that I want to be that day, He takes me into His loving arms and reassures me that tomorrow is another day. I get the chance to rest and reset. 

Motherhood Will Make Me a Saint

Motherhood Will Make Me a Saint

Motherhood is strengthening me in all of the different virtues, ones I knew I needed help in and others I thought I had covered. I was made to be a mother, and, yet, I am challenged every day. This motherhood thing is pushing me to rely on God so much more than I ever thought I would need to.  As I’ve been praying the St. Therese of Lisieux Novena the past week, this litany of words from it has been convicting me, especially when I apply it in terms of motherhood. I hope that they’ll call on your heart too.  Join me in the journey to being a saint- whether motherhood is making you a saint, or something else, we’re all called to the journey. Pray for me, as I’ll pray for you.

I love your people, Lord. Help me to love them more!

I reflect you to the world, Lord. Help me to reflect you more clearly!

I rely on you, Lord. Help me to rely on you more!

I accept your will, Lord. Help me to accept your will every day!

I try to forgive, Lord. Help me to forgive 70 times 7 times!

I am humble, Lord. Give me more humility!

I see you, Lord. Help me to see you more!

I trust you, Lord. Help me to trust you more!

I love you, Lord. Help me to love you more!

 

Read More From Simply Mama Bird:

Mother Teresa on How Love Can Change the World 

7 Easy Ways to Start Being a More Present Mom

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Fun Indoor Activities that Both You and Your Kids Will Love

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This post contains Amazon Affiliate Links. As an Amazon Associate, Simply Mama Bird receives a small commission from qualifying purchases. Thank You!

It’s been a long, hot, and rainy summer in sunny Florida. We’ve been spending a lot more time inside in the air conditioning than I’d like to admit. Luckily, my kids don’t seem to mind too much.  As I wrote about in my last post, I sometimes have a hard time remaining present with my kiddos. I also really enjoy and try to prioritize having playtime with my children. Given this, I’ve had to find activities that both my kids and I enjoy so that I can remain present with them. It’s taken some time and experimentation to figure out what these are – and they definitely change from time to time. 

Fun Indoor Activities that Both You and Your Kids Will LoveRead More: 7 Easy Ways to Start Being a More Present Mom

Right now, we’re keeping our playtime pretty basic.  We’ve tried a lot of different activities and have bought and been gifted many different toys.  The activities that I’ve listed are ones that we keep coming back to.  Plus, they’re ones that I don’t get bored of too easily- which makes a big deal! As the seasons change in our hometowns up north, I know many of you will be looking for good indoor activities in those cold winter months. Hopefully some of these will also be basic, but fun activities that both you and your kids will love.

1) Reading

Reading is one of our favorite pastimes in the Bird household. Both my husband and I are big readers, and it’s something that we want to pass onto our children. Luckily they seem to have caught the reading bug! Because reading is something both the kiddos and I enjoy, it’s an easy redirect from any activity that I keep looking at my phone during.  I like to let my toddler pick out which books she wants to read and then huddle up on the couch for awhile. My 11mo will beebop around the room while we read, or sometimes he’ll hunker down with us for a chunk of time.  He’s just getting to the point that he’ll also sit down to several good board books as well. Some of the ones that have been keeping his attention lately are:

Read More: Fostering a Love of Books from an Early On

2) Painting

My toddler never says no to painting. While this is an activity that requires a little more work on my part, I also find that I really enjoy crafting and, therefore, stay more present during this type of activity. I’m not really a Pinterest mom and haven’t pulled any special looking crafts off yet. Instead, I just set her up with a “palette” of paint, some paper, a cup of water, and a variety of paintbrushes, and she goes to town. I keep it easy on me and fun for her. I haven’t attempted any painting with my 11mo but I might try out this edible paints recipe soon! With my toddler, I’m a big fan of the washable paints linked below (they come out of her clothes when she inevitably gets some on them). We usually will just use pages out of coloring books or some printer paper we have laying around to keep it really easy. Some of her works of art we save and send to family and others go straight to the recycling bin when they dry!

3) Play-Doh

Play-Doh is another activity that my toddler enjoys that I also enjoy.  This is also a really good activity when I need to do some things around the house! I enjoy playing with it too, so I end up joining in at some point.  She received some Play-Doh tools and cutters as a gift last Christmas, and we’ve been putting them to good use recently.  At some point, a bunch of small dinosaurs from the Dollar Store also ended up with the Play-Doh, and now it’s a joint activity with them being her main characters.  We can spend a good chunk of time making different animals, creating a scene, or just rolling it creating “green beans.” Awhile back, I made this edible playdough recipe that I need to make some more of soon so that Charlie can start playing with us too! 

4) Kitchen Pretend Play

I enjoy doing pretend play when it’s more modeled after real life.  My husband is much better at creating crazy scenes and playing them out with the kids, but I’m just not there yet. Instead, I like to do real life pretend things like cooking in their play kitchen and having a picnic with their picnic things. For awhile, my toddler was doing cupcake parties for all of her stuffed animals and it was so sweet. I just had to sit back and “eat” cupcakes while she did all of the work- my favorite kind of play! My 11mo also is very into our toy kitchen, though it’s mostly to just pull things out of it and slam the doors. Either way, it’s been a really good addition to our play and an activity that both the kids and I enjoy. It looks like the set of food we got isn’t available anymore, but I really like the quality of the Learning Resources Brand listed below. I’ve also added a bunch of old utensils and dishes from our kitchen that we weren’t using anymore!

5) Musical Instruments

Some days I curse myself for getting musical instruments for the kids and some days I thank myself. Lately, it’s been more of the latter.  My youngest is really into music, so it’s been really fun to watch him experiment with making different sounds with the shakers or to try to hit the hammer on the xylophone.  He also is very into singing “Ah” into containers, so we’ve included some random ones in our musical instrument bin. My toddler also loves them and will hand one out to everyone in the family (plus some stuffed animal friends) to play a song together- usually the ABC’s of which she sings. Other times, we’ll turn on some music and play along with it. It’s a really fun activity to watch and be a part of with my kiddos.

6) Practicing New Motor Skills

This is one of my biggest go to’s right now, as my little guy is riiiiight on the edge of walking. We’ve been having a lot of fun coaxing him to walk toward us. I’m a big fan of the milestones, so if we’re on the edge of one, I’m way better at remaining present and wanting to catch every movement. It’s also a fun thing to get my toddler to be a part of.  She has been saying “Come Here, Charlie” whenever we want him to crawl back to us (especially when he’s running away during a diaper change). Now, she’s learned to say that when I’m trying to get him to walk off the couch to me. She’s very excited for him to start walking so that they can play more together! We’ve done this at every stage- including the toddler’s jumping and spinning which she’s a big fan of now!

7) Puzzles

My toddler had a span where she was very very into puzzles. I think we overdid the ones we had, so she’s been out of them for a little bit.  I’m thinking about rotating some back in this week though! Puzzles are definitely an activity that I can get behind, as I love to do them myself. Sometimes, it can be frustrating to not be able to hop right in and help her. Or she gets sick of it halfway through, and pieces get scattered everywhere. Even so, I love to watch her little brain work as she figures out how the pieces fit together.  We also have a Melissa and Doug knob puzzle that my little guy likes to pull all of the pieces out of, and, if I’m lucky, the toddler will put them back in!

8) Blocks

Blocks have been a great activity for both my little guy and my toddler lately. Both of them LOVE to knock over towers. My toddler will sometimes spend a good chunk of time building a tower and then knock it over either herself or with her Godzilla stuffed toy her daddy got her. My son will make a beeline for any tower he sees as he is all about destruction right now.  I enjoy making semi-elaborate towers- if I get a chance to get them high enough- so it’s a fun activity for both the kids and I.  We’ve been really into our wood blocks recently (the same ones I had as a kid!), but we’ve also had spans of time that my toddler has enjoyed playing with the Mega Blocks (or color blocks as she calls them).  I’m thinking about looking into either Duplos or Magnatiles for our toddler’s Christmas present this year to add to our building supplies!

These are just some of the activities that both the kids and I are enjoying right now.  There are obviously so many more that I could list!  As they change developmentally, the activities and toys that they are interested keep changing, but these are the basic ones that we keep coming back to again and again.  I’d love to hear about any activities that both you and your kids enjoy!  Comment below or chat with us on Facebook or Instagram

Fun Indoor Activities that Both You and Your Kids Will Enjoy

Read More: Yes Spaces- Why are they important? 

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7 Easy Ways to Start Being a More Present Mom

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How many times do we hear “Mama, come play with me” or “Mama, look at this” and respond with “not right now, honey” or “after I do this”? I know I do it so many times every day.  I am always putting other activities in front of being present with my kiddos. Sometimes it’s things that have to be done, like changing a diaper or getting dinner on the table. But so often, it’s something that doesn’t need to be taking my attention.  Whether it’s scrolling through Facebook, doing the laundry, or whatever other thing is distracting me at the moment, it’s not nearly as important as being a more present mom to my kiddos. 

I’m blessed to be staying at home with my kids in this season of life, and so I spend a lot of time with them.  Even so, a lot of that time, I’m not being fully present with them. Now don’t get me wrong, it’s good to let children self entertain and learn how to play on their own. It’s good to take the time to clean up after a meal or send a text out to a friend. And it’s good to have time away, focusing on “mama” things. But our kids need us, they need our attention and our interest in the things they’re interested in. Even if it’s a quick moment of connection amidst a busy day, these moments of connection are what our children crave and thrive on.

7 Easy Ways to Start Being a More Present Mom

I fail in little (and big) ways every day in this journey to being more present.  My goal is that when my kids look back, they will remember me as a mom who loved them with all her heart and gave them the attention they needed. Not as the “wait until I’m done with ____” mom that I so often am right now. The following ideas are some of the things I’ve been trying on my journey to being a more present mom. Some I try to do every day, others every once in awhile.  See if there are any that will help you, too, on your journey to being more present with your children.

1) Put the phone down

Our phones are so addicting- between starting up this blog, keeping up with social media, and reading whatever funny article some acquaintance from high school posted, I feel like I’m always on it. I’ve started to put limits on myself- I can only have it when the kids are sleeping or eating, I keep it on the kitchen counter, or I can do this one task but then it goes away.  Find what works for you to put the phone down and be present with those in front of you. It’s okay to indulge every once in awhile, but we don’t want our kids thinking we love our phone more than we love them. 

2) Do activities you enjoy

I am way better at being a more present mom with my kids when we are doing something that I enjoy doing.  I love reading to my kids, so I try to incorporate that somewhere every day. Puzzles and painting are also go to’s for me as Nora has gotten older.  When I’m excited about something she’s doing, she gets even more excited to share it with me. Experiment with different games, toys, and activities to see what you enjoy doing. Do more of that!

Read More: Fun Indoor Activities that Both You and Your Kids will Love

                 

3) Invest in yourself

I am such a better mom when my cup is full. That is, when I take time for myself away from the kids, when I have some bit of quiet in the day. By putting myself first sometimes and taking the time I need, I’m able to come back refreshed and ready to take on tantrums and messes with a little more patience and a lot more love.  Sometimes that’s as easy as taking a shower (with no kids in the bathroom!) and sometimes, I need my husband to watch the kids while I go to Starbucks or the library. Whether it’s taking time to pray or have quiet in the morning, getting a workout in during naptime, or just simply taking a nice shower, find that thing that fills your cup and take the time to invest in yourself.

Read More: Self Care for the Mom That Thinks She Doesn’t Need It 

4) Include kids in household chores

I get so distracted from my kids when the house is a mess. I’m either away cleaning it or thinking about all of the things I need to do when I’m trying to play with them. By incorporating them in tasks like cooking, laundry, or sweeping, I’m able to practice being a more present mom to my kids while also getting the things I need to get done done. Sometimes this means it takes a little bit longer to get a task done, but so often they enjoy being a part of the process. Invite your little ones to do your to do list with you- you might be surprised at what they’re able to do!   

5) Turn up the music

I’m learning that putting on some music and having a dance party (or as Nora is starting to call them- talent shows) is one of the best things to reset my brain and prompt my being more present.  There’s something about dancing with my kiddos that adds a little extra joy to my day. Nora is starting to sing along to different songs and Charlie is a dancing machine, so it’s been really fun to share these times together.  Whether it’s “mama” music, old classics, or Toddler Radio on Pandora (my go to), put on some music and see what happens.

6) Get out of the house

I am such a better mom when we leave the house. When we’re at home, I have the dishes and laundry beckoning me, my phone is in easy reach, and I get bored of playing the same old games. Enter outings! Whether it’s something simple like going to the grocery store, or a bigger outing like going to the zoo, I’m able to disconnect from all of the things waiting for me at home, and just be present with my kiddos. Find those places that bring you joy, and include them in your weekly routine. Or if you’re having a bad day, just take that spontaneous trip to the park! Sometimes all we need is a good reset and getting out of the house does just that, allowing you to be a more present mom.

7) Soak in the hugs and snuggles 

My kiddos are still little, so they still enjoy getting mama snuggles. Sometimes all that I need to do to make a little one happy is pull them into my lap and spend some time snuggling and talking or reading a book.  By having that loving physical contact, we’re able to say to our kids that they matter without having to say it at all. Plus snuggling is good for our children’s and our own well-being.  We release oxytocin when we cuddle, which leads to happy feelings and bonding. So take some time to snuggle with your little ones today, if only for a couple minutes.

7 Easy Ways to Start Being a More Present Mom Today

The cliche is so true- kids grow big so fast. I want to make sure my children feel loved during the time that I’m blessed to have them. By being a more present mom, I hope to be their person when they need to talk, to be the one they turn to when they need a hug or some extra snuggles, and to be who they call whenever they’re in trouble. I’m starting on this journey now, and I hope that you’ll come along with me.  Let me know what you do to be more present with your kids by leaving a comment below or by chatting with us on Facebook or Instagram

Keep Reading: I’m Saying No Less to my Toddler- What I’m Saying Instead

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Embracing Mary as the Model of Motherhood

Embracing Mary as the Model of Motherhood
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Behold, I am the handmaid of the Lord, May it be done to me according to your word (Luke 1:38)

These words were spoken by Mary after the angel Gabriel told her that she would soon be the mother of God.  I can’t even imagine being in that situation, much less reacting with the courage that Mary had. She had to have been scared, confused, and unsure. Her only question was how this could even happen, given she had no relations with a man. I would have had so many questions, I would have wanted so many more answers. But Mary was brave and sure in the Lord, and she responded with a resounding yes that allowed the world to be changed.  This yes and all that she did as a mother afterwards is why I look to Mary as the model of motherhood.

Mary inspires me so much. You see, Nora was our surprise honeymoon baby. She came at a time when we had so many other plans for our lives.  When that plus sign showed up, we were unsure and scared, but also filled with wonder and joy. God had a different, and bigger, plan for us than we did. Much like He had for Mary. Now, obviously, Nora is not Jesus, Son of God. My role as mother is not quite as daunting as the role Mary had to take on. Even so, it is overwhelming for me at times to think that God has given me these sweet kiddos to love on and raise up as well as I can. And so, I call on Mary often to help me through motherhood.  I look to her as one of my biggest role models, and I hope to follow her example as I figure out how to mother my own children.

Embracing Mary as the Model of Motherhood | I'm following Mary's fiat as our call to being Christian mothers. May we say yes to God in our motherhood. #ChristianMotherhood #MotherofGod #MaryQueenofPeace

It all starts with a Yes

“May it be done to me according to your word” is such a hard thought to swallow sometimes. I’m sure Mary had her own idea of what she wanted her life to look like- she was about to be married, to start off on her own journey of womanhood and being a wife. And when God presented this different path for her life’s journey, she swallowed any pride she had, any visions of what her life was to be, and just said “May it be done.” 

I often have my own visions of what my life is going to be.  Starting college, I thought I wanted to go into research and become a professor, but God led me a different direction. After college, I was going to go on to be a Physician’s Assistant, and God, again, led me a different direction.  Now, I have all of these ideas of how I’m going to raise my children, where we’re going to live, and how I’m going to live my life. But God tells me to calm down, all I have to do is follow God’s plan, one yes at a time. 

Parenting, and really life, is just a collection of brave yes’s to God. Some of them are really small, like waking up in the morning ready to take on another day with my kids. Others are much bigger, like having kids in the first place! A lot of times I don’t want to say yes to God- the yes looks really hard or scary.  I don’t have all of the details, I don’t know how it will all end up. But in these moments, I can look to Mary and see her bravery. I see that God wants our yes. Our yes to the big things that He is calling us to, our yes to being present to the people he’s put in our lives, our yes to Him. 

It’s okay to screw up sometimes

We don’t get a lot of stories from Jesus’ childhood in the Bible. In fact, one of the only stories we get is probably one of Mary’s worst moments.  When the Holy Family was traveling back from Jerusalem after the Passover, Mary and Joseph assumed that their twelve year old son was among their friends and relatives in the caravan. A day later, they realized Jesus was not with them, and they returned to Jerusalem to find him. Three days after that, they finally found him sitting in the temple among the teachers. Mary, as any mother would ask, said “‘Son, why have you done this to us? Your father and I have been looking for you with great anxiety.'” (Luke 2:41-52)

I probably would not have been as calm as Mary was upon finding my child after missing him for four days. She listened to him, not understanding what he was saying, and then brought him back home, keeping “all of these things in her heart.”  She had to be so scared for that time- she was in charge of the Son of God, and she had lost him! While I don’t recommend losing your kid, I think it’s so reassuring to know that even Mary, the mother of God screwed up once- and did it big!

This story helps me see that I don’t have to be the perfect mom to be the best mother for my kids. I am the mother that God chose for my particular children. This brings me back to the quote “When God put a calling on your life, He already factored in your stupidity.” God knows that we’ll make mistakes, He knows that some of them might be really big. But just like Mary, we can go back, we can figuratively (or literally) find our children, and start on the journey again. 

Embracing Mary as the Model of Motherhood | I'm following Mary's fiat as our call to being Christian mothers. May we say yes to God in our motherhood. #ChristianMotherhood #MotherofGod #MaryQueenofPeace

Plant seeds for our children

Mary prompted the start of Jesus’ miracles and teachings at the Wedding at Cana. He said it was not yet his time, but Mary, as all good mothers do, knew better. She didn’t push him to do anything or tell him exactly what to do, she just told the servers to “Do whatever he tells you.” And then Jesus performed his first miracle of turning water into wine (John 2:1-11).  Without Mary being there and giving him that little push to do what He was called to do, who knows when Jesus would have started his ministries. It definitely could have been that same day, or it could have happened much later. As mothers, our job is to plant the seeds so that one day our children may bloom in their own journey.

As Nora is getting older, I understand the temptation to plan out every moment of my kids’ lives, to want to tell them how to do every last thing.  I’m sure Mary felt this same way, knowing that her son was to go on to do really big things. But, just like Mary, I believe it is good, instead, to prompt, to open doors, to plant seeds.  This is so important in these little years that I am currently in, and probably even more so as kiddos grow up into adolescents and then adults. In the baby/toddler years, I can open their doors to learning, to kindness, and to love. I can’t make them do anything, not even sleep or eat! But I can lead them on their little life missions, planting the seeds for when they grow.

Just Be There Through it All

Mary had to go through one of the absolute worst things a mother could go through, standing at the foot of the Cross, watching her own child be tortured and crucified.  We can guess that Mary was in and out with Jesus throughout much of his ministry.  We know that she was praying for him every step of the way. He loved her dearly, and took time to address her as he was dying, telling one of his disciples to take her into his house (John 19:26-27).  One of the most convicting religious art pieces that I have ever seen is the Pieta by Michelangelo. It is the image of Mary holding Jesus after he was taken down from the cross. She was truly there from His very beginning up until His ending.

Pieta
Image by Jacques Savoye from Pixabay

While I truly hope that I will never have to suffer through one of my child’s deaths, it is our role as mothers to be there through every moment, high and low, in our children’s lives. Our jobs are never done, we must be always supporting them and, at the very least, always praying for them. We must keep saying yes to them and to God in His plan for us as their parent.  Mistakes may happen along the way, we may stumble in our path as parents, but, just like Mary, we can turn it around and start again. We must plant seeds, and prompt our children in their callings. Our journey as mothers may have twists and turns along the way, and we may feel like we have no idea what we are doing. In these moments, we can turn to Mary as our model of motherhood, knowing that she paved the way and is praying for us every step of the way. 

Keep Reading: Mother Teresa on How Love Can Change the World

If you’re looking to get to know Mary a little bit better check out one of the following books! 

(These are affiliate links, and Simply Mama Bird will receive a small compensation from any sales with no extra cost to you!)


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I’m Saying No Less to my Toddler- What I’m Saying Instead

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I’m on a journey to start saying no less to my kiddos. I didn’t realize how often I was saying it until Nora started to repeat my “No, Charlie, no!” as he rushed anything that I didn’t want him to go toward.  (Isn’t it fun when your children start mirroring you?) I read recently that the average one year old hears “no” more than 400 times a day, and I thought that that couldn’t be true. But then I thought about the fact that it’s not usually one no that screeches out of my mouth when Charlie gets into the toilet or Nora tries knocking Charlie over, it’s usually a tirade of no no no no no no!  So that stat doesn’t really surprise me anymore. 

Hearing only negative words, like no, stop, or don’t, can impact a child’s brain and frame of mind.  While there is definitely a time and place for saying no or stop, I don’t want to overuse these words to the point that they become ineffective or hurt my children’s psyches.  I want to help my kids grow up into positive and creative adults, something that could be limited by only hearing no all the time.  As I’ve talked about before, I’ve started this journey by creating yes spaces that they can explore without me having to say stop constantly.  I’ve also been analyzing my own reasons for saying no- is it because I’m being lazy and not wanting to be present or is it actually something they shouldn’t be doing? Most importantly, I’ve been working on the language that I’ve been using with them on a daily basis.  This has required some changes on my part, but I’ve seen great results, especially in my 2.5 year old! Here are some of the tactics I’ve been employing to start saying no less.

Say No Less to Your Toddler | Create a positive environment for your children through positive parenting and saying no less.  #GentleParenting #PositiveDiscipline #yesmom #positiveparenting

 

Redirect, Redirect, Redirect

Redirection is the only tactic I’ve really found to work in the just becoming mobile stage of development that Charlie is in, and it also works with my toddler too. Instead of yelling “No, no, no” at Charlie as he gets into the recycling or grabs the cat, I can physically get up and remove him from the situation.  I can also quickly think of something more exciting to entice him to turn around and come back my way, though this is just in the beginning stages of working. In the infant stage, they aren’t able to be reasoned with and are getting into things by way of exploration, not to make somebody angry (thought it doesn’t feel like it sometimes!). Therefore, physical redirection is the best way to refocus an infant without having to yell no.

This tactic also works with toddlers – at least sometimes. When I see that Nora is going to do something that will probably not end well or that I don’t want her to do, I default to yelling at her to stop it or say my “no, no, no!”  This usually ends up egging her on (she often thinks it’s hilarious when I yell at her…).  Or, it ends up with her in tears or a tantrum. I’ve found that by providing her with a different idea of something to do or physically picking her up and redirecting, I’m able to forego these behaviors. I use this tactic a lot when she is asking me to do something that I don’t want her to do (or that I don’t want to participate in for the 50th time). Instead, I can come up with a different fun idea that will hopefully take her attention instead. 

Examples:

How about we do ______ instead?

Let’s go play in your room for awhile next.

What’s a different game that we can play?

Change the Language From No to Yes

I’m really working on watching my language and changing it from negative to positive forms. This means that instead of saying “Don’t Run!,” I say “Please Walk!”  When given orders, children often focus only on the last words in the sentence.  When you preface a sentence with no, stop, or don’t, they don’t usually process the negative portion, but hear the words at the end and continue that action. By stating what you do want them to do rather than what you don’t want them to do, there is a much higher chance of it actually happening. 

This requires extra brain power on my part, so it’s been taking a little time to get the hang of it. It’s way easier to say stop doing something than to think of what I want them to do instead! However, I have found that when I do remember to switch it around, I have a much easier time communicating with Nora what I need from her leading me to less saying no.  Then, she’ll often follow through- though definitely not every time. She is two after all!

Examples: 

Instead of “Don’t pour out the bubbles”,  I can say “Keep the bubbles in the bottle.”

Instead of “No screaming in the house,” I can say “Outdoor noises outside and indoor noises inside.”

Instead of “Stop dumping out all of the pieces,” I can say “Put the pieces back in the box.”

Give Options to Avoid the Power Struggle

Nora is at the age where she is wanting to be the ruler of her own life. She likes to make the decisions of what we’re doing and how she’s going to do it, and she does not like to hear the word no.  This can contribute to a power struggle over silly things like what she’s wearing if I’m not careful. It also makes situations tough when we’re needing to get somewhere on time, and she really isn’t wanting to go.  I will often default to yelling or negative language in these situations, and it always ends in tears and a struggle. I’ve found that by instead offering options between items or ideas in which both outcomes are okay with me, I give her some of the power that she needs to feel in control, while actually staying in control of the situation myself.  

This also leads to me saying no less because I’m happy with either option that she has available. As long as I am giving fair choices to choose between, she’ll generally go along.  She has been known to say, “I don’t like those options,” which can sometimes make things harder. Through a little intentional communication, we can usually figure out a suitable choice that will work for both of us. By breaking it down to her level, I’m able to say no less and usually avoid any tantrums or tears.

Examples:

It’s too hot out to wear that, would you like to wear a dress or shorts?

Do you want to go potty now or after we read another book?

Would you like to hold my hand in the parking lot or do you need me to carry you?

State the Why

As Nora has gotten easier to reason with, sharing with her the reason behind why she can’t do something has worked really well. This often works best when I take the time to pull her to the side, give her snuggles, and validate what she is doing or feeling fits.  I then can state the action that she was doing that was bad and why I don’t want her to do said action. Usually, I’ll then go on to redirect or ask her what other actions she could do instead. By taking the time to sit down with her and be intentional, I can avoid the negative circle and hopefully she won’t continue to do that action in the future.

I’ve been pleasantly surprised by how fast Nora has caught onto some of the “whys” we have shared with her, allowing us to say no less to her in a lot of situations.  Our biggest one has been the things that we can’t do right now because a place is closed, it’s not a good thing to do when Charlie is awake, or we don’t have enough time. She’ll often catch on quickly and offer a time that could make sense to do it instead- and surprisingly remembers it when we get to that time!  We need to give our two year olds more credit than we think!

Examples:

I see that you like doing that, but that’s dangerous and I don’t want you to get hurt.

I love that you are having fun with Charlie, but I don’t like when you push him because it hurts him.

The library is closed until 10:00, and we can’t go inside until the librarian unlocks the doors.

Say No Less to Your Toddler | Create a positive environment for your children through positive parenting and saying no less.  #GentleParenting #PositiveDiscipline #yesmom #positiveparenting

I’m sure there are many other tactics to employ on the journey to saying no less to our toddlers and using positive language, but these are some of the ones that are working for us right now.  I’d love to hear your ideas as this is all a work in progress for us! I’m pretty sure I said no to the kiddos that 400 times just throughout the process of writing this post. By being intentional in the language we use and the environment we create for our kiddos, I hope to raise confident, creative, and kind adults that go on to do good things. Here’s to each step of that journey!

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Mother Teresa on How Love Can Change the World

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Thursday was St. Teresa of Calcutta’s feast day.  I meant to get this out then, but I got busy due to changed plans and visiting family!  Everyone loves Mother Teresa, so I figured I’d still share how I’ve been inspired by her lately. St Teresa of Calcutta was, and really still is, such an example of giving unlimited love, doing everything you can in the world, and listening to God’s plan. However, looking at her life can also be a little overwhelming- she was such a brave, devout, and busy woman. She gave and gave and gave and did soooo many great things.  But yet, the lessons that she taught those around her really focused on how her actions were really just a collection of small doings.  She shared how we too can love as she did. We don’t all have to go to the slums of Calcutta or even the slums of our own cities to make the world a better place. She said, instead, that we need to start at home, performing one act of love at a time.

Mother Teresa on How Love Can Change the World | Doing small things with great love to make the world a better place is what St. Teresa of Calcutta shared through her words and actions. #MotherTeresa #LoveFirst #ChristianMotherhood #ChangetheWorldthroughlove

“Spread love everywhere you go; first of all in your house. Give love to your children, to your wife or husband, to a next door neighbor. Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier.”

Sometimes I feel so overwhelmed with all of the ways that I could go out and help others. Our world can be a pretty dark and depressing place with so many people hurting, so many issues to fight on, and so much that could be done. It’s hard to keep up with the latest tragedy, to read the news right now without falling into despair or, worse, being so numb that we don’t feel anything anymore.  I’m someone who likes to be able to do something, and especially with two little people in tow right now, I feel like there’s just not much that I can legitimately go out and do. This has been really hard for me, and I often feel like I’m not doing my part to make the world a better place. 

But Mother Teresa had a different idea of how we can make the world a better place. She believed that we start with the people God put in front of us first. That means that I must start by loving my family, especially my kiddos and my husband, as best as I can.  In this, I am doing the work that God has called me to do. Mother Teresa often talked about the poverty of being uncared for, of feeling lonely and unloved. I’m sure we can all look around us and find at least one person in our life who is struggling with these feelings. By reaching out and doing what we can to make them feel loved and noticed, we are taking small steps in changing the world for the better.  Even this can seem hard at times, though, which brings us to another famous quote by Mama T.  

Mother Teresa on How Love Can Change the World | Doing small things with great love to make the world a better place is what St. Teresa of Calcutta shared through her words and actions. #MotherTeresa #LoveFirst #ChristianMotherhood #ChangetheWorldthroughlove

“I don’t do great things. I do small things with great love.”

I had this quote on my graduation cap- “do small things with great love” – and I try to live by it.  It truly is the small things that add up to the big things. Each small action I do in love for those around me adds to the culture of love in my life and in the lives of those around me.  In starting with my children, I’m able to build a foundation for them in which they know they are loved and can thrive. Each ouchie kissed, each book read, each extra snuggle adds up to the great love that they can flourish out of. The same goes for my husband. Every time I clean up dinner without complaining, recognize his needs before mine, or let him rant about his latest thing, I’m able to build up love in our marriage and in our home.  

The small things play out when we’re out and about too. I can choose to smile at the people in the grocery store aisles.  I can reach out and say hi to other moms at the library’s toddler time. I can look a homeless person in the eye when we pass them on the street. I can try to shop more ethically, buying items from places that treat their workers right. I can donate food or baby clothes or diapers or whatever else we have extra of.  There are so many small ways that we can make the lives of those around us better.  Just by recognizing the people in front of us using these small actions done with great love, we are able to make the world a better place.

Mother Teresa on How Love Can Change the World | Doing small things with great love to make the world a better place is what St. Teresa of Calcutta shared through her words and actions. #MotherTeresa #LoveFirst #ChristianMotherhood #ChangetheWorldthroughlove

“God doesn’t require us to succeed, he only requires that you try.”

This one is so so important. In attempting to be love to everyone around me, I burn myself out trying so hard to be the “perfect” parent, wife, neighbor, friend, daughter, etc. By taking baby steps and doing everything with love, Mother Teresa reminds me that it is really just the doing, the trying, that matters- I don’t need to do it all perfectly. At the same time, that doesn’t mean that we can become complacent because we “tried” and that’s what counts. It’s a new effort every day of loving the people God has put in front of us the best that we can. 

On my part, I am working on loving my children by being present with them and giving them my attention instead of getting sucked into things that don’t really matter.  Some days, I may yell and have no patience, some days they may hit their heads or get hurt too many times to count, and some days they may eat mac and cheese for every single meal. Yet, if I always come back and do my best to love them, that is truly what matters.  The same goes for my husband, other family members, friends, and even strangers.  Often, the “trying” is done in just being present with others, listening to them, and being the love that they need in their life.  We need to be open to whatever and whoever God is calling us to love and not be afraid to take the leap to love them even when it might feel a little uncomfortable or we don’t know if it’ll be received well.  We must try to do what we can to create change, even when we don’t know what the end result will be.

Mother Teresa on How Love Can Change the World | Doing small things with great love to make the world a better place is what St. Teresa of Calcutta shared through her words and actions. #MotherTeresa #LoveFirst #ChristianMotherhood #ChangetheWorldthroughlove

“I used to believe that prayer changes things, but now I know that prayer changes us, and we change things.”

One of my favorite stories of Mother Teresa is that of when one of the sisters in her convent approached her worrying that they didn’t have enough time to serve all of the people they needed to. Mother Teresa replied by saying that they must then increase their daily holy hour to two hours. For only through prayer would they be able to have the strength and peace to go out and do all of the work that is needed to be done.  Only through prayer do we realize that it is really God doing the work. By handing our work over to Him, He is able to multiply it, to make it more effective, and to create the world as it was meant to be.

I’m not currently able (or willing?) to have a daily holy hour not to mention two! In my stage of life, I’m happy when I get 20 minutes a day (especially if they’re in a row!) But even so, I know that when I do take that time with Jesus, I’m able to be a better mom, a better wife, and a better person in general.  I’m not sure how God does it, but He multiplies my time and keeps me present with my kids, husband, and others around me. Prayer also often challenges me to be a better person. It shows me areas I need to grow in, places where I haven’t been the kind of person God is calling to me. By giving whatever time that I’m able to give to him in my day, God multiplies it and changes me into a person who can then go out, love better, and create change in the world.

Mother Teresa knew what she was talking about, and she sure walked the walk. I aspire to be half as loving as she was, to be half as giving of myself as she was.  By following in Mother Teresa’s footsteps, as different as it may look in my life, I hope that I can become the person that I am meant to be.  I hope that I can spread love to those God has placed in my life through small actions rooted in love, and I pray that I am not held back from being love when I feel like I cannot succeed.  In doing all of these things, and in rooting myself in God through prayer, I know that I am doing my part to make this world a better place.  I hope that you’ll join me on the journey.

Want to get to know Mother Teresa a little better? Try out these awesome books! (The first is one of my personal favorites)

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How to Deal When Plans Change

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Hello from Wisconsin! With Hurricane Dorian possibly coming through Florida, we had a quick change in plans in order to spend the week with our parents in Wisconsin and not be in the possible pathway. Now, it looks like it probably won’t hit Tampa super hard, if at all, but we didn’t want to chance not having power with two little humans. Plus, we got a random family vacation out of it!

Sometimes I can swing with the punches really well, and sometimes it’s really hard for me to have plans change. This time was a little of both.  Tony had been out of town for the week for work, so I was already pretty exhausted.  On Thursday, Tony called to say we should think about booking flights back to Wisconsin on Saturday so that we could beat the rush.  During this phone call, I kind of freaked out. Planning a plane trip for two little people with only two days notice is a large task. But as we started to flesh out the details and think more about why we needed to do it, the stress went away.

You see, I’m a planner. I have lists for my lists. This expedition was not written on my calendar. I was supposed to get a nice afternoon at Starbucks on Saturday and some downtime scattered throughout the weekend. At least, that’s what I had written down. But so many times, plans change and we just have to accept it and allow it to happen. This happens in big ways (like a surprise baby- Oh hey, Nora!) or in small ways (like it rained and we can’t go to the park anymore).  I’m seeing in Nora now a lot of my own stress when plans change. Who knows if it’s nature or nurture, but either way, I’m trying to work on my own self regulation methods so that I can help her when she’s having trouble too. These are some of the ones that are working for me personally right now:

1) Start with Prayer

This is the biggie. Sometimes I forget that God’s got it. I’m not and don’t have to be in control. By bringing what’s stressing me into prayer, I can find relief in one of two ways. Either, I find that it is something small that I don’t actually need to be stressing about (which is most of the time), or God helps me think through the stresser with more clarity and logic.  A lot of the time, I go in a downward spiral and start thinking about all of the extraneous details and get a little irrational. By taking a step back and giving it to God to look at it with me, I’m able to regain my senses and think a little more rationally.

I’ve been trying to start with prayer in these situations, even if it’s just a short “what am I supposed to do here, God?” when I’m figuring out how to deal with the changed plans.  Many times, I forget to give it up to Him and, instead, take it all on myself. I try to control the situations that can’t be controlled. When I do start in prayer, the stress is shorter lived and I’m able to roll with the punches with much more grace.

2) Make one decision and then the next

Often, I look at the change of plans as this huge task that I have to take on. Whether it’s something crazy like a quickly booked plane trip out of FL or something simple like hosting unexpected guests, it often feels like there are too many things that need to get done in the short time allotted. I’ve learned that by just making that first decision, no matter how small, I can bypass some of those overwhelmed feelings. I’m able to break it down into little decisions instead of looking at it as a huge problem to be solved with one swipe.

On this trip we had to decide 1) if we were even going to go, 2) when to book, 3) who to watch our cats, 4) how to get to the airport, and countless other small decisions. Thinking about all of these at once drew me into panic, but breaking it down into what decision needed to be made first and then which followed made it so much more manageable. Which takes me to my next point:

3) Make a list 

As I said, I’m a list maker. I have daily to do lists, weekly to do lists, grocery lists, goals lists, books to read lists. I have lists on my phone, lists in my planner, lists on the wall. I might be a little Type A in needing order. However, just the act of making the list often makes me feel 10 times better than I feel before it was made. Only through writing things down am I able to break tasks into more manageable sizes and maybe even see that I don’t actually have as much to do as I thought. That’s exactly what happened with this trip- when I wrote down the things that needed to get done, I realized that I was already in a good place and didn’t really need to do as much as I thought once those few first decisions were made.

With the mush that has been my brain with two small people running around, the act of getting things on paper or at least in my phone makes sure that I’m able to remember them. Otherwise, those thoughts get lost. Or else, they’re swimming around in my brain trying not to get lost, and I’m not able to focus on the task at hand. Writing them all down keeps everything in order, or at least helps me to remember what I need to do to get things into order.

4) Lean on the people around you

This has been the biggest help for me on this current trip.  When we first started thinking about what we were going to do, Tony was able to talk everything through with his boss who has been through his fair share of hurricanes in FL.  We were also really lucky to have my parents be flexible enough to take us in at last moment’s notice. Tony’s parents will host us for a couple days as well while we’re here for the week- so it’s turning out to be a random and fun family vacation. 

While it’s easier to lean on family (usually), we were also given the opportunity to lean on others that weren’t so easy.  After just introducing ourselves to the neighbors across the hallway a couple weeks ago, we decided that they would be the best people to ask to check in on our cats (if they weren’t also leaving- which they weren’t!).  I made Tony go ask them- because I’m a chicken- and they were more than happy to come over once a day and make sure that the cats had food, water, and litter changed. This was one of our biggest anxiety points, so it was so so good to be able to lean on people that we hardly know.  And such a lesson for us in reaching out too!

While, this trip was not on my calendar, none of it was planned, and we had to just wing a lot of it, we have been having a really great time so far.  A lot of times, the changed plans are actually some of the best ones! The unexpected surprises end up being way better than anything I could have come up with on my own. By stopping my mind from running away with the what-if’s, I’m able to actually be in the moment and enjoy it more.  With that said, let’s hope that there are no more changes in plans on the way home on Saturday and that all goes smoothly!

We pray for all of those who did end up in the path of the hurricane, that the damage is small and that all are safe. 


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John the Baptist- He Must Increase; I Must Decrease

John the Baptist- He Must Increase; I Must Decrease
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Today is John the Baptist’s second feast day- the celebration of his death/martyrdom.  When I was planning this post, I was going to write about how we can “prepare the way of the Lord” just as John the Baptist did. But it wasn’t flowing. Part of this could be because I kept getting interrupted by a baby who insisted on waking up every 45 minutes until I finally realized he had a poopy diaper.  But, I think it was really because we don’t need to prepare the way anymore- Jesus has already come! He’s done His work, is doing His work.  Instead, we need to be in relationship. We need to put Jesus at the center of our lives and allow Him to do work within us so that we may find our calling. Then, we need to introduce him to others, so that they may find that relationship and calling too.

Who is John the Baptist?

John the Baptist was a somewhat strange figure in the Bible- he wandered the desert sharing his teachings, clothed himself in camel’s hair, and lived by eating locusts and honey.  He was bold with his words, calling out tax collectors for taking more than their share, soldiers for practicing extortion, and even the king for marrying his brother’s wife. Yet, despite his brusque attitude and wild demeanor, he gathered quite a following. He baptized these followers with water as a sign of their repentance and their turn to God. He then baptized Jesus, though he felt unworthy to even “loosen the thongs of his sandals” (Luke 3:16). 

Often we feel unworthy to do the work that God has called us to do, too. Who are we to bring people to Jesus, to make change in the world, or even to parent little humans? Nobody trained us for this.  But nobody trained John the Baptist either- he heard his call and followed it, setting the stage for the Savior of the World to come. This saying has been bringing me peace lately, “When God put a calling on your life, he already factored in your stupidity.”  God knows who we are intimately, and still calls us to do the things we are meant to do. John the Baptist- He Must Increase; I Must Decrease - what John the Baptist has to teach us about finding our purpose and living the life we're meant to live #Christianmotherhood #johnthebaptist #findyourcalling

Prayer Comes First

Since we aren’t trained for the calling, it helps to be in relationship with Jesus.  I find that when I’ve put aside my prayer time or fallen out of taking time for God, everything else also goes by the wayside. I become more overwhelmed in my everyday tasks. I don’t feel any clear directions as to what we should do next. There’s no peace. But after writing about my Martha heart and starting to put some of those practices into place, I’ve had so much more peace. I’ve been able to solo parent this week with little stress (other than the now incoming hurricane!). I’ve been able to be a better mom. I’ve felt more of where Jesus is calling us next. There’s been no clear signs or written down instructions by any means, but I’ve re-centered my life on Jesus and all of these things just seemed to follow.

John the Baptist- He Must Increase; I Must Decrease - what John the Baptist has to teach us about finding our purpose and living the life we're meant to live #Christianmotherhood #johnthebaptist #findyourcalling

He Must Increase, I Must Decrease

When asked how he felt about Jesus also doing baptisms, John the Baptist said “he must increase; I must decrease” (John 3:30).  He knew that Jesus’ baptism was greater than the one that he offered. He knew that his preparations for the Lord were now complete and it was now time to turn hearts to the man who mattered the most. His actions were to point to Jesus. But, he wanted to be sure this was the right man, as most of us wonder at some time or another too. He sent some of his followers to ask Jesus if he was the Messiah or if they should keep looking. Jesus answered by healing them, taking away their demons, curing their diseases, and said “Go and tell John what you have seen and heard” (Luke 7:23a).  He let his actions speak for themselves.

We’re called to let our actions speak for themselves, or rather for Jesus, too. We must act as Christ acted, because He acted. This looks different for each of us. For me, I think a part of it is starting this blog and sharing my own journey so that others may come along. I think an even bigger portion of my calling includes being the best mother that I can be, bringing my children to Jesus and allowing Him to work in their lives. By centering my life on Jesus, I’m drawn into action. I need to become the best version of myself because that’s who I’m made to be. I, then, have the privilege of helping my children become the best versions of themselves. I also have this privilege with my husband and with all of the others that God has brought into my life. 

Let Jesus Work Through You

What I need to remember, though, is it is not my duty to change hearts as it was for John the Baptist. I can only lead by example, spread kindness and truth, and be the best that I can be. Because Jesus has come, I only need to introduce Him and let Him do the work in other’s lives- He must increase, I must decrease.  It is never my doing, but God working through me, fulfilling the purpose he has for me. This is a little disheartening, but also completely freeing. While I may not get all of the credit, I also don’t have to know exactly what I’m doing every second of the day.  Instead, I can ask Jesus to work his magic through me, and He will.

John the Baptist’s purpose was to prepare the way of the Lord. That’s literally what the angels told his father when he was put into his mother’s womb. He fulfilled his purpose, the way was made, Jesus has come. Now it’s our turn. Let’s build up our relationship with Jesus so that we may also discover our purpose. Let’s let Jesus do his work inside of us. Let’s introduce people to Jesus by our words and by our actions. Most importantly, we need to remember John the Baptist’s words, “He must increase; I must decrease.” 

If you’re looking to get to know Mary a little bit better check out one of the following books! 

These are Amazon affiliate links meaning Simply Mama Bird will receive a small commission through any purchases of these products at no extra cost to you! 


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